Dreams

My father don't seem understand why I continue writing. It's not a job, even though it would be a good career to take up in the future. And it hurts me everytime he says he's waiting for me to finish a real orginal story of mine so he could sell it. It hurts for some unknown reason, it really hurts. I just want to write. I want people to see a world beside ours. That's why I continue writing. My mentor once told me that these dreams may fall one day. He didn't actually said them, but it was what he meant. Dreams are what we live on. They give us the strength to move on, to keep on fighting even when you know all hope is lost. Maybe all these may sound stupid, but it is who I am. It's hard to truely explain all these. I don't even know if I'm making sense or just talking nonsense, but I'll always hold onto my dreams.

-I stand on my own two feets, even if I sway, I shall never fall.

Boredom

Bored...really bored...maybe I should study...
...
...
...I can't believe I just said that. (Aden slaps himself in the face.)

I'm just gonna do some random stuff again.

-birds can fly (duh!)
-Spiderman, Spiderman. Where you are now Spiderman? Whatcha gonna dooooo SPIDERMAN!
-(points middle finger at computer screen) LOUSY GRAPHIC CARD!!!
-zzzzzzzzzz....(pig snore)
-damn it, running out of random stuff.
-Banging head at wall is fun.

Difference

We're not so different are we. We may look different but our heart beats just the same.

Adults

Why is it that all adults in my life (excluding mom) think they know everything. And when they try to explain that they know what I am thinking and all that, they are wrong but manages to convince themselves that they are right. It really doesn't make sense. And they think I don't know what they're thinking but I know more than I'm letting on and when they explain on what their lives are like, it is exactly how I thought it was. It seriously doesn't make sense why they just can't see what's behind the curtains, you know what I mean...

Time

I have no time at all to do any posting. Between writing and school work and a new exercise program some doctor call me to do. Not to mention I'm super lazy. Anyways, Wish I could freeze time so I can actually do all this stuff. Maybe even sleep. Looked at the mirror lately and I say some large patches of black under my eye.

Return

After that extremely mushy post, the random advices have RETURNED!

-Maths sucks.
-The sun is very very hot.
-Do not run around naked. It is against the law.
-Ninja monkeys of death are REAL!!!
-Poodles of doom are real too.
-You CAN read a book. Or, use it for paperweight, light a fire, make a tall book tower......
-Pigs can fly.
-I can fly.
-No you can't.
-Yes I can.
-And I say no.
-Well I say yes.

The Reason Why

People have once asked me, 'What's the best way to describe you?'. My reply was always either a joke, or when I'm more serious, 'I can't describe myself for I am no one but me.'. Then there came a time, where a friend of mine asked, 'Do you not believe in god? Why do you not have faith in him?'. I couldn't reply. Now here's my explanation for everything.

When I was young, I had four friends, really close friends. Benjamin, Terry and Guo Yang. I think the only reason why I'm who I am today is them. They started everything for me. We would dream, dream even though we're wide awake. Dream so much that we passed the bother of reality. They showed me a world I never knew. So different from our own and until now, I still stand on the line between those two worlds. They showed me this world which shield me from sorrow, especially when someone close to me passed away. I dare say, during that short period of time, I was truelly happy. After kindergardens, we went our seperate ways.

In primary one, I made many more friends but were shortly pulled away from them. In my new school, I was thrown into the darkness. The darkness was so deep, I could barely breathe. For three years which seems like an eternity, I was kicked, shunt, bullied, tied up, made fun of and was the target of a few bullies in school. Soon, I learned to fight back, but it caused me more pain as I loses the few friends I have. And not before long, I stopped. Faceless voice told me that as long as I don't hit back, I won't get hit. But the darkness didn't go away. It slowly ate away at me, bit by bit. Suicide came on my mind a few times, but I fought them. Counciling didn't help either. Three years of hell, grasping for some light. It's funny, how when you're happy, time seems to pass so fast. But it's the other way around when you suffer. After running through some darkness, I finally grabbed onto a small bit of that light I've been chasing, in the form of a guy named Ryan. Then came Shi Yun. She was the one who showed me that even in light, people still suffered, but they fight on for they have something they wish for. And it seems that it is only those people, who hide their true suffering self under layers and layers of smiles that do things for others than for themselves. I became one of them, at least, I think I did.

Soon, in my final year, I met a teacher. Her name was Angeline Tan. She gave me a book, one that changed my life forever. There was also a card in it, which gave me the strenght to continue on. It wrote,

Dear Jun Xiang,
Although you always frustrate me by forgetting to bring your work and yur constant chatter, you always bring a smile to my face.
Must cherish the moment, live life to the fullest and use whatever potential you have to the fullest. Don't let me down.

-Ms Tan
16-07-2004

The book she gave me was Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone. And it was because of that book, I started to have a dream. A dream for a boy who was pulled from the deepest darkness. And with that, I decided to find ways in which to bring my childhood world to reality. I tried many things, but failed. Soon, I was in secondary. I met friends, many friends. And after so long, I smiled. Not a fake smile, but a true genuine smile from joy. People like Mark Leong, Cheng Hong, Valentina, Hui Xian, Loh, Wee, Joel and Dom showed me what's it was like to have friends again, and I found it, the world I lived in during my childhood and I was determined by then, to bring it to life.

I tried game designing, animations and many more but all failed. I descovered a game called Suikoden, which in turn led me to writing, finally a way to create my childhood world and share them. It might not make sense, all this babbling. But if you try to imagine and live through them from my eyes, it'll make many things clear.

It is the reason why I am who I am. Why I'll only fight to protect. Why I am able to withstand insults so much. Why I hold back my tears. Why I seem lost sometimes. Why I suffer in silence. Why I would say it was I who did something wrong someone else comitted. And lastly, why I am who I am.

There is a reason for this post. It is not senseless babbling. Look deep to see, look deep to hear. It is there. It has always been there.

"Darkness can take me. Darkness can devour me. But it can never touch my soul."
-Aden Ng Jun Xiang

Back

OMG!!!!!! That was so freaking hard! Just so people know, I've never, done html stuff before so that was like a three hours crash course. But the blog is up and running again...I hope.

"We were all gathered there, on the soft green grass and with the scent of cherry blossoms on the wind." -Honey and Clover,Takamoto

Thanks

After reading through some of the stories of mine, I realized that I never got to thank all those who made it possible. They may not know it, but they were the ones who inspired me to start writing. (Not to mention I totally use them as some of my characters without asking them. Oh screw!)

So um...if anyone like want to know who I've used for my characters, just tell me in the chatbox of leave a comment.

More links and more random stuff.

<----Links to more stories.

More Junk!

-Leaves are green.
-Wearing two pairs of underwear during camp is stupid. Wearing four however, means you're a genius.
-If a hobbo ask if you're homo (if you're a guy or straight if you're a girl), just say NO!
-People with ten toes and ten fingers are normal. People with twenty toes and twenty fingers are ok as well. If however, you have twenty toes (growing from both hands and feet), you're weird.
-During a war, point middle finger at passing bombing plane to get laid...IN A COFFIN!!!
-If you dare to run across hot magma, I'll salute you. Even if you lose your lower torso, I'll still salute you. :)
-Shiny things are distracting.

Random

Some random advices and junk.
-You can only open closed doors.
-Do not drink water via nose.
-If you get a chance to choose between sniffing a guy name Jasper's feet and bathing in magma, choose the magma.
-Putting peas up your nose is not a good idea.
-Doing something stupid like jumping from roof to roof however is A-OK.
-Stopping trucks with your bare hand is NOT ok. Only do it if you are wearing gloves.
-MP3 does not stands for Musical Pants ver.3.
-If you say 'Socks' rapidly, you will have a 80% chance of biting your tounge off.

Blader

I've decided, I'm gonna get a rollerblade and totally ride home on it. YA!!! And totally lose weight at the same time. YA!! And finally, learn that neat little spinning trick thing I didn't manage to learn the last time I rode a rollerblade. YA!!!

"Woah Blader, Oh Blader ride on my friend. Hey Blader! Wassup I'm coming down on you." -Random made up lryrics.

Holiday Karma

Haha, never do holiday homework. Haha, going to get killed by Mr.Cheng. HAHAHAHAHA.....HA! Why am I laughing?

End and Begins

Sigh, holiday's ending and scholl is coming back. And then, the biggest exam this year. And I haven't even finished my maths homework yet! It is sooooo god damn hard. I wish this holiday would never end.



"When does a journey never ends? When does a journey never start?" -Dreams and Shots

Box

New chatbox to the left but please, shhh.......It's a secret.

Style

OK! I am sick of all my online friends complaining of my gaming style so I'm gonna make this clear, BUTT OUT!!!

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll give you a few examples.

Example 1: Gunz online. They say it's annoying the way I jump and run and hit and run. In this game, I use a hit, run, rush (rinse and repeat) type of style. I don't have nimble fingers to do all those fanciful moves like the rest of you, OK!!!

Example 2: LOTR BTME II. They say I'm not attacking enough, always acting like a coward hiding at my own base. And when THEIR attack failed, WE get attack and who's defending the place, ME! And when my defences fall, they all just quit. SO DON'T YOU DARE GIVE ME INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO PLAY GAMES YOU COWARDS!!!

Links

New links to my favourite few online games...ok maybe not favourite but they seem kinda nice.

Request

Send in an art request to a guy named Seph to draw my characters Deago, Frederica, Timothy and Rose from Greener on the Other Side. Hope he accepts it. Link to this story is on the left with all the others.