I'm tired, I'm really sick and tired of all this. Everybody think it's that simple, well, it's not.
My teachers think I'm just rebellious and disrespectful, I'm not, it's not that simple. They never tried to know me but always assumed they do. It's stupid.
My sister thinks my stories are just that, words. She doesn't know how much I put into them and insults it like nobody's buisness. It hurts a lot.
My dad thinks I'm lazy, not knowing how much pressure everything has put on me. He expect me to do what he wants to. I won't.
Mr. Song, thinking I'm just another teen, judging before he thinks. It's not easy.
Miss Pang, what she did shocked me. She use others for her lie, damaging what sanity I had left, just so she could get her way. All the sec 3s banned me from the den? I've asked, they didn't. She did. This is called betrayal.
And my friends, they're always here and there, busy with this and that. My mom, even busier. I'm tired. It's been over what, eight, nine years now maybe? My mind is a wreck, my heart is in a mess and I'm more physically tired than I look. Everything I am, everything I'm not, it's infuriating me more and more.
No talent, no future, no hopes, no dreams, those are the words put into me by teachers, my dad, my rivals, my past, my present and everyone else in one way or another. I'm on the brink of total and complete breakdown like no one else have ever seen me before and what scares me the most is that this time, I'll have total control over my actions. I've been punished for wrongs I did, never do, would have done, did before and never would have. A way to push the blame on me I guess, ease up others stress. I said I would take everyone's pain, I never said their stress.
It's sad really, knowing I have the power to destroy everything and everyone that gets in my way, but at the same time, being sensible enough to control, to never let that happen and yet get punished for it, for protecting others.
I miss them, those friends of mine, where are they now? We've changed so much, I'm sick of this kind of change. When I said I would change the world, this is not what I meant. Where are you guys? I can't find you... am I lost... or maybe... you're lost...?
"Emotions are a great source of strength. But when let loose, it becomes a great weakness." -The Seven Clover---So, can I throw my emotions away then?---
---Will everything dissapear?---
---All this pain, all this sadness,---
---They'll fade away with my death which may come soon.---
