Rant One: Family
Note: After reading a letter posted online, I am now inspired to write down all my frustrations in rants on my blog for the world to see, laugh and critique. Enjoy.
Dear family, you are all idiots.
Younger sister who has poor time management, Shower more. You may not know this but wearing your school uniform from morning till the second you sleep is disgusting. Considering the hygiene level of some of Singapore's educational facilities, I am shocked you did not just jump straight into the tub the moment you reach home. Also, your permanent PMS mood, though interesting, is highly retarded. Not to mention that most of the things you blame/scold/hate people for, are your fault. Scolding someone for repeating a question is okay. However, it is not fine to scold them for repeating when you did not reply the first time round.
Elder sister with mentality of an eight year old, Grow up. The world does not revolve around you so stop trying to make it so. It is not mature to say you're not going out with your family because you A) have important work (facebook) to do or B) was not told prior to the event even though we specifically reminded you of and C) you have a busy schedule. The manager of a company has a busy schedule. A school teacher has a busy schedule. Yet for some reason, these people still manage to make time for their families. A volunteer worker like yourself who can choose when to work and when not to and spends most of your time at home, does not have a busy schedule.
Older cousin who I suspect has hair cancer. You talk too much. I am not your girlfriend so don't touch/talk to/treat me as one. Stop caressing my arm when you get home and stop using that homosexual voice while speaking to me. I have ears and thus, it is not required to make physical contact with me every time you wish to speak with me. I have a name for a reason. Also, you use 'hair care products' as if you're trying to create the ultimate pizza on your head. Please try to stop. It is disturbing and to a certain degree, grotesque. Your pillow has become hard as a rock and the fur on your CJ7 soft toy now resembles that of a lion's mane after going through a thunderstorm. That's saying something.
Dad, you stink, literally. You reek of alcohol even though you drink little which leads me to suspect you shower less. You annoy me to no end but treating me as if I'm four. I'm seventeen. I speak better English and am a fanfiction writer. Do not try to show off your command of the language to me. It does not help my already dysfunctional impression of you. Also, I am not gay. Slapping my ass in public is not cool. When I am doing actual work on my computer like writing and school projects, I do not understand how you could arrive at the conclusion that I have been playing computer games for the past three hours. Lastly, I go out three days a week and I stay at home for the remainder. How you are able to utter sentences such as 'you should go out more' and 'why are you always going out?' on the same day is beyond me.
Dear mother, I respect you. I love you. But I cannot stand the fact that you treat everyday life like a business. Personally, I have never met anyone who is able to spend half an hour talking about how we're going about laundry duty. Neither do I see the need to split the duty between you, my cousin and my sister in the order of wash, dry, iron. At the same time, leaving the duty of cleaning the house to me, the one guy who is rarely at home, considering the hours in which I return from school. I am seventeen. Little sis ain't so little anymore and my cousin is in his late twenties. It is laundry. Stuff shirt in machine, hang shirt, wear. It's that simple. And we do not change clothes like we drink water that we require laundry duty to be carried out once every two days. The only thing missing from our last family 'talk' was a official contract. With that, I am quite certain that we could set up a decently profitable cleaning agency.
Dear family, you are all idiots.
Younger sister who has poor time management, Shower more. You may not know this but wearing your school uniform from morning till the second you sleep is disgusting. Considering the hygiene level of some of Singapore's educational facilities, I am shocked you did not just jump straight into the tub the moment you reach home. Also, your permanent PMS mood, though interesting, is highly retarded. Not to mention that most of the things you blame/scold/hate people for, are your fault. Scolding someone for repeating a question is okay. However, it is not fine to scold them for repeating when you did not reply the first time round.
Elder sister with mentality of an eight year old, Grow up. The world does not revolve around you so stop trying to make it so. It is not mature to say you're not going out with your family because you A) have important work (facebook) to do or B) was not told prior to the event even though we specifically reminded you of and C) you have a busy schedule. The manager of a company has a busy schedule. A school teacher has a busy schedule. Yet for some reason, these people still manage to make time for their families. A volunteer worker like yourself who can choose when to work and when not to and spends most of your time at home, does not have a busy schedule.
Older cousin who I suspect has hair cancer. You talk too much. I am not your girlfriend so don't touch/talk to/treat me as one. Stop caressing my arm when you get home and stop using that homosexual voice while speaking to me. I have ears and thus, it is not required to make physical contact with me every time you wish to speak with me. I have a name for a reason. Also, you use 'hair care products' as if you're trying to create the ultimate pizza on your head. Please try to stop. It is disturbing and to a certain degree, grotesque. Your pillow has become hard as a rock and the fur on your CJ7 soft toy now resembles that of a lion's mane after going through a thunderstorm. That's saying something.
Dad, you stink, literally. You reek of alcohol even though you drink little which leads me to suspect you shower less. You annoy me to no end but treating me as if I'm four. I'm seventeen. I speak better English and am a fanfiction writer. Do not try to show off your command of the language to me. It does not help my already dysfunctional impression of you. Also, I am not gay. Slapping my ass in public is not cool. When I am doing actual work on my computer like writing and school projects, I do not understand how you could arrive at the conclusion that I have been playing computer games for the past three hours. Lastly, I go out three days a week and I stay at home for the remainder. How you are able to utter sentences such as 'you should go out more' and 'why are you always going out?' on the same day is beyond me.
Dear mother, I respect you. I love you. But I cannot stand the fact that you treat everyday life like a business. Personally, I have never met anyone who is able to spend half an hour talking about how we're going about laundry duty. Neither do I see the need to split the duty between you, my cousin and my sister in the order of wash, dry, iron. At the same time, leaving the duty of cleaning the house to me, the one guy who is rarely at home, considering the hours in which I return from school. I am seventeen. Little sis ain't so little anymore and my cousin is in his late twenties. It is laundry. Stuff shirt in machine, hang shirt, wear. It's that simple. And we do not change clothes like we drink water that we require laundry duty to be carried out once every two days. The only thing missing from our last family 'talk' was a official contract. With that, I am quite certain that we could set up a decently profitable cleaning agency.
Aden saw the light at 10:27 PM
and received 0 comments from curious onlookers.
