Typical Singaporeans

Aden: Hello people and welcome to Typical Singaporeans...again. Today we have with us, Gabriel and Gabriel.

Gabriel: Wassup!

Gabriel: Yo!

Aden: ...

Gabriel: What's wrong?

Aden: I can't tell who's who.

Gabriel: (Looks at text.) Hm...

Gabriel: Why don't we try that again?

Aden: Right. (Dramatic pause) Ok people, welcome to Typical Singaporeans. Today with us, we have, Gabriel Wee,

Wee: Yo!

Aden: And Gabriel Loh!

Loh: Wassup!

Aden: For those who are new to this, let me start with a little recap. Typical Singaporeans is a text-based talk show where I and special guests, whether with their consent or not, talks about the habits of Singaporeans.

Wee: Like smoking.

Loh: And speeding.

Wee: Peeing in lifts.

Loh: Gambling.

Wee: Attitude problem.

Loh: And speeding.

Wee: You said speeding twice.

Aden: OK! WE GET IT! Now then, this show have not much viewers but as a writer, I shall carry on. (Clears throat.) For today's topic, we shall talk about gangster. Personally, I find Singapore to be lacking in quality gangsters these days. Do you guys agree?

Loh: Yes ogre- I mean Aden, most Singaporean gansters are weak and cowardly. Their style of fighting is you push me, I push you back, I scold, you scold, we scold back.

Wee: Huhuhu, that sounds stupid.

Aden: What's wrong with him?

Loh: Nothing, he always laugh like that.

Wee: Fuck you la, I where got laugh like that?

Aden: Hey! No vulgarities on this show. Don't make me scold you by not scolding you but in fact I'm scolding you by scolding your mom!

Wee: What?

Loh: He scolding your mom.

Wee: What the hell!

Aden: OK! Now, let's get back to buisness. So then, for the SMALL numbers of gangs in Singapore which citizens always complain about, what would you do if you have the power to solve them?

Wee: Round them up with police la!

Aden: Mutter* Typical

Loh: Singapore Police also no use one. Everytime all they do is see don't touch, touch don't see. See and touch, give ticket.

Aden: True. Singapore Police ARE useless.

Wee: Except for special cases.

Aden: Like?

Wee: ...

Loh: Well?

Wee: I'll get back to you on that one.

Aden: Sigh* Well, that's all the time with have for today.

Wee and Loh: TONIGHT!

Aden: Right, tonight. Next time, we shall talk about the new policies set up by MOE.

Loh: You very excited about this hor.

Aden: (Big smile) Well,

Everyone: Bye!