Still...

Scouts is screwing themselves up, my friends are screwing themselves up, teachers are screwing me up and the whole thing is screwing my mind up.

So, why the hell am I still trying? Trying to patch up my friends relationships, helping them to have their dreams come through, making sure the future the scouts doesn't go into dirt and all the while, I'm killing myself off. When I do these things, I get nothing in return and I might lose everything I've ever wanted and have. But then again, I guess I don't deserve this happiness. After all, my laughter was never my own. It was given to me by the people I care about. A person like me, one without a laughter of his own should do only one thing. Help others gain back their smile.

I can't remember the date, nor the place. Just that single moment when I looked up into the sky. And then, I saw it. That smile, so gentle, so peaceful, yet, it hides so much turmoil, sadness and confusion. I can't help but smile, because when I do that, that smile becomes true. A real smile out of happiness. She smiled so I can smile. I smiled so she could too. When she's sad, it makes me sad. And I'll force out a smile, as true as it can be so she can smile again. I smile so others can, I laugh for others to laugh as well. I cry alone so others don't have to.

But it was at that time when I realized something. The only person I myself can make happy when I smile is her and only her. So I decided to create a lie. A lie which became the truth. A True Facade. And the more people I make happy, the further away from the truth I become. And in the end, I became a lie. My name is no longer my own and I am never alone. But I needed this, this strange ability so others could smile, so I kept it. Seven truth made from lies, that's who I am.

"Writer's like us tells the truth with lies." -Nicholas Kent